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HOWARD STERN INTERVIEW ON 3/11/2013
WITH GERARD BUTLER
TRANSCRIPT
Transcribed by Jhawk Butler
H=Howard Stern
R=Robin
G=Gerry
GB=Gerard Butler
AGT=America's Got Talent
JA: Judd Apatow
V=outside voice cutting in
LDC=Leonardo DiCaprio
H: GB is here
R: Thank goodness. Get us out of this conversation.
H: GB is in a new movie. Look at you still handsome as ever.
G: How are you?
H: Eh I'm alright. I am exhausted, hey, I am exhausted from my vacation.
G: Oh yeah.
H: I worked all vacation
H: My audience thinks I was off. I was working. I got 2 jobs now.
G: Oh what were you working on...oh AGT.
H: It does seem like
R: Americans Got Talent?
G: No, I said Americas Got Talent. I know the name of the show. I have seen it.
H: I gotta tell you, do you know what it is, Gerard, it's like, it was long, people don't think it's work, but it was, it is exhausting, It took me like 3 days to recover from it.
G: Is that right, emotionally exhausting? or just the
H: Well I'd tell you about it, but my audience was so cruel about me talking about it all this time that I am not going to, I am just going to concentrate on you.
G: JA thing yeah
H: Yeah yeah he did not like it when I talked about it, so fine let's give JA his wish.
G: I shouldn't talk about it or I will never get an opportunity to work with JA.
H: When you talk about a guest coming in you, I always because you are so masculine, but yet you are huge Barbra Streisand fan and I a bit
R: He can be you've got to be very masculine to do that
H: i'm Barbra Streisand fan of her films, I thought she was a fabulous director and because I think she was a woman and a strong woman, they never gave her the credit... I think
G: Right.
H: But you like her music
R: But how many movies did she direct H?
H: There was yenter, yentel
G: Yentel....Yenter is a better name (laughing)
H: Yenter, Yentel
V: Prince of Tides
H: Prince of Tides was another one, The Way We Were she didn't direct, but she did the one with Ryan ummm O'Neal
G: Ryan O'Neal oh yeah, yeah
H: I think she directed
R: The boxing one?
V: The Main Event
H: Yeah... I think she directed that one, but I am not sure. Did she direct Main Event?
V: (unintelligible)
R: I don't think so
H: Are you a Barbra Streisand fan musically?
G: Yeah I like her music I just like everything about her you know, I grew up with Barbra Streisand and she's just I mean even when you look at singers today the difference in the quality of voice and even just that charisma that they had in those days, she was just, she was the shit
H: Let's see how big a fan you are, I am going to
G: No, no don't TEST ME
H: Watch this...I'm going to play one note
G: By the way ....I never
R: Oh no
H: Gerard listen
G: Right
H: What song?
G: I really don't know, I don't even know the name of the Memory song
H: Do you need more than 1 note, I will give you 2 notes
G: Because I don't ever remember the name of the song
R: Oh dear
H: Wow you are not good at all
G: Well.... Hey Robin do you know that?
R: No
H: Here's 3 notes
G: No I am telling you
H: You don't know that even I know that.
G: Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
H: It's this.... you don't bring me flowers.
G: Ohhh yeah yeah ...Do you want me to sing that, can I make it up ..?
H: Let's do that
(G & H sing)
H: You don't know that
G: You gave me 2 notes.
H: Here I will give 1 note
G: No, no, by the way I don't do this, no I am not doing it
H: What's was that?
G: A drum.
R: Gee... I know what that is
G: Listen, firstly, let me explain something right, here's the thing, there was a kind of a reason
H: I knew you weren't a Barbra Streisand fan...I knew you were lying...
G: But listen let me say, I actually did, I grew up with Barbra Steisand
R: Where did you grow up?
G: When I grew up up in Scotland you know she was a big hero in Scotland, i mean whenever
H: Really
G: Because she was Barbra Streisand.
H: She was known throughout the world
G: She was known throughout the world when I went to see her in concert and when you look at everybody, I mean everbody was there Uh Katie Couric was there, Barbara Walters, everybody that was anybody
H: Anybody from the news
G: It was insane when she was there and you saw how audience reacted, you go, you know for instances when Michael Jackson
R: you just saw her
G: they don't make them like that anymore,
H: Right.
G: A consumate entertainer, iconic
H: It's unbelievable what's going on in music, it's almost not even cool to be a muscian anymore, right?
H: But are you putting out a rock record
G: No
H: Did you go to Marilyn Manson and Johnny Depp for advice
G: No
H: for advice
G: I don't even know, I don't even know, I have gotta, I want to just almost complement these people and their imaginations, they just sit and what what can I say you know
H: Are you the victim of a lot of false tabloids reports?
G: Yeah I get some insane stuff yeah
H: Mostly about women or mostly like about other stuff
G: Probably mostly about women
H: It's unbelievable the amount of women that they have got you linked to
G: Yeah
H: They have you having sex constantly... you were a little 2 minutes late
R: You don't have time to act
H: I think you are having sex in the elevator
G: BTW I was having sex in the elevator It's not that I am always, I am not always innocent, but uh but the stuff that I hear, oh come on really?
H: You are not that busy sexually
G: I am not that busy sexually I got tell you there is many a time, I sit .... when I am living in LA there is so much ... sit in your bed on your own, you switch on the tv, you are watching tv and I know that right now there is some story out there about me shagging 3 women.
H: Right
G: I wish they could see me now.
H: You are by yourself you are like why is my life so boring. But you know what seriously.. As a guy I wasn't blessed with your kind of looks and machismo and so
R: May I say he looks very good
H: He looks good right?
G: Thank you.
H: You do look good. I own that same jacket, I look like shit in it
R: I never noticed that jacket on you
G: I like that jacket by the way... maybe we should swap
H: It would look a lot better on you... this jacket pissed that I own it....so I should give you all my clothes actually. You know what for AGT I went out to Jon Varvatos I bought all his clothes
G: I love Jon Varvatos.
H: His whole wardrobe, they helped me out, John helped me himself and you know at the end of the day I still look like shit so you have gotta look like you. When you were in Scotland growing up were women always interested in you or did it happen when you got in the movies.
G: That's a tough question, I mean I...
H: How old were you when you lost your viriginity?
G: I was 17.
H: I was 16
R: What the women couldn't get to you, what happened?
G: I just didn't know what I was doing
H: You weren't considered to be a very good looking kid?
G: No I mean... I was pretty popular at school..... btw I remember the first time I ever flirted with a girl and she walked up the stairs and I said something to her and she said something back and we just looked at each other and I held this look and she gave this smile and my heart went,you know it almost exploded and I went that's what you do, hold a look, give a little smile and that was first time I felt some stirrings down below you know
H: 17 it was a girl a serious girlfriend?
G: It wasn't a GF, it was just a girl at school and she was walking up the stairs and I made a joke and she looked at me and I held the look and I am like OMG this is fun, so I have got such an addictive personality that all I did was flirst constantly so I became
H: So before you got laid, were you getting blow jobs & stuff a lot when you were like 14 and 13?
G: No
H: No
G: Other stuff, but not blow jobs.
R: Just making out and stuff.
H: I would get freaky chicks to make love to me and that it would be like long between girls it would be like months
R: A desert
H: A desert, it was awful with this face, I didn't have that good a personality so everything was working against me you know what I mean
G: ...There was one girl in the chemistry class and I remember we use to always have bunsen burners in front of us and we sat at the back and she use to wear these black stockings and she OMG I would get so turned on and we start putting our hands on each other's legs as a dare and start working our way up to see what
R: Oh really
G: Yeah, to me that was even more exciting then losing my virginity
H: Right that's hot
G: It's hot
H: Because if you get caught you're screwed ... the whole thing
G: Everytime go a little further
H: Did you ever consumate with her or
G: No
H: No
G: Never
H: It was just something that happened in that class
G: Well once in the toilet at my house, as well but never
R: What?
H: She came over and she started to screw
G: There was a crowd of us over at my house and we ended up kissing and kind of pressing against each other and it was like, it was
H: Why do you think you never made love to her?
G: I didn't know what I was doing
H: You were, right. Did porn help you learn how to do
G: No I was
H: It was what I learned from
G: From porn?
H: From porn yeah
R: That's why he was arrested several times
H: Yeah I think I was suppose to rip a woman's clothes off and do whatever you wanted to her. I didn't know you have to have permission.
G: You are leaving me with so..... I went to my brother's house to visit him in Edinburg when he was student. I just started law school and the guy in his room had a box I swear about 4' high full of porn magazines, I didn't have any porn magazines, he was throwing them out, my brother said do you want some of these and I was with 3 of my friends we were all law students and I took a bunch, we get in the car and we drive back to Glasgow and I am going into the university and they dropped me in the middle of Fifth Street where everybody crosses, everybody who is in the university, they all cross and I used to be craic.. crazy I 'm still bit crazy so I decided to do my French Connection impersonization, so I opened the door while he was still moving and I dived out and rolled along the street
H: Are you insane.
G: I am insane
H How fast was this car moving
G: It was just slowing down 40 mph, no I'm joking it was just like a couple miles an hour, I roll on the ground and I am thinking the boys are going to love me that's crazy. My buddy (name) gets out of the car with all the porn magazines, he throws them on the ground and he says "Stay away you fucking pervert," he drives off and I left with about 20 porn magazines all over the ground and everybody looking at me and I had to start picking them one by one.
H: So embarassing
G: It was the most humilating
H: Like kiddie magazines
G: Oh worse, they were like German, they were serious deep throat porn
H: Guys who love animals
G: Yeah
H: Very bad stuff
G: I don't smile, I couldn't just walk away, so laughing at people, this is just silly, picking them all up
H: That reminds me of a story that happened to my wife We get so much free porn here, sex toys and stuff, so we had a friend she said H gets all those dildos, she hadn't been dating, she said bring a couple of those dildos that he gets over to the house. So she wrapped them up in a paper bag. I give them to her. She is walking down the street, what are the odds of this happening, the paper bag rips and there are dildos all over the ground and she like in front of tons of people picking up a black dildo like 12", this long, you know what I mean, so f**king embarassing right? It was too much when you are picking up porn off the street and people, women are probably looking like making you are dirt
G: Yeah (during H's talking, he is also laughing)
H: It was awful
G: there was another thing, you just reminded me, I was in a bar and for some reason it was not like I use to carry a lot of condoms around, but I got a bunch, i had 5, and I put them on the inside of my pocket and I sitting in a bar. It was an old beaten up denium jacket and it had a hole in the inside so I am sitting talking to this guy, there is a bunch of girls and this girl walks over and says excuse me buddy and she picks of 5 condoms from the ground that looked I had crapped them out
H: And then you look like a stooge
G: yeah it was not my best moment
H: Check it out.. there's Gerard Butler that guy carries 5 condoms because he knows he's going to get lucky
G: BTW now that I look back probably made me look pretty bad, yeah babe what about it?
H: Do you still wear rubber when you are with a new chick?
G: Yeah
H: You do
G: huh yeah
R: you have to?
H: You have no idea how many guys I have interviewed single guys like yourself, good looking dudes and they don't use rubbers and they laugh at me because I use one
G: You still use one?
H: Yeah, like that, you are going to laugh at me
R: He's laughing at you too.
H: Yeah I use one how am I suppose to have birth control?
G: Oh yeah that's
H: Seriously I don't want to have more kids
R: Does G like have children floating around out there?
G: Apparently not
H: Right (Robin laughing)
G: I always thought when 300 came out it was a big success, I was waiting for a call, but if there is somebody out there
H: You would know
R: This is the time
G: Yeah, but I didn't hear anything
H You know do you worry about your looks, honestly, seriously because I mean everyone, all these women carry on about, everyone how good looking and part of the reason you get all these leading roles because you look like a leading man and I mean a new movie is coming out, you are a leading man type,
G: Yeah
H: Do you worry when you go and play sports or something that your face is going to get f**ked up I mean I would be paranoid about that
G: I am not saying you don't look in the mirror and say oh god I look like shit today or I need to get more botox or something (laughs)
H: Right. Do you get botox?
G: No, no I don't
H: Would you ever do it?
G: No, I don't think like that
H: Why not?
G: I don't think... you know its funny because I said to somebody, look at this, look at all these wrinkles I am getting here and he's like "dude its," if a guy you are lucky it works to me its character
H: In a way I always considered myself blessed because I can never lose my looks, I never had them, but guys like you'd have to worry about it. I don't.
G: You are a good looking lad
H: Oh yeah, but seriously if a producer says to you look like they have the role of a lifetime for you, if you read this script you're gonna love it, hey listen man do a little botox around your eyes or something would you do it?
R: Do they say that?
G: If it's for a role. I would just be as happy to make myself look ugly you know or get fat
H: Right
G: You know, If its for a role and it something you are really willing to commit to, then yeah, I mean I would do it for that, but not for my life, I don't care enough like that, there are certain things that in coming from Scotland that you are not wired that way.
H: Scottish dudes are very masculine. They just don't sit and think about botoxing
G: Yeah but actually what we are doing, guys started talking about trimming and stuff and I am like
H: Trimming your bush. You don't trim your bush do you?
G: NO
H: No I don't either
R: Are you circumcized?
G: NO
H: You're not?
G: We don't do that, I still have umbilical cord (laughing, overtalking)
H: Let me cut that... You've got that big giant belly button
G: Btw, that's why I didn't lose my virginity until I was 17 beause I tried it with my umbilical cord when I was 13 and it was
H: Ah you have like a big belly button like a thing
R: An outie?
H: See that thing sticking out of your belly button?
G: Yeah, right
H: I grew up in a very poor community and some of the kids had belly buttons where there was like a stick coming out of it
G: Oh really
R: What?
H: Like they had botched umbilical cord detachment I guess, it was crazy stuff I use to see
G: Oh wow
H: It was like a tail in front, I am not kidding you, so if you are not circumscribed, which by the way I am so against circumcision I mean you know that's manmade f@#king thing, it has got to cut down on your sensitivity you know on your penis.
G: For sure.
H: I am circumcised. Hell I grew up in America that's what they do cut you, its gotta be wrong
G: I never having being circumcised so I can't say, but all I know is for me it is very sensitive, that's when I am having sex that's the amazing
H: But do chicks freak out, do they ever sit there and go oh no he is not cut because some women just can't deal with it
G: Yeah there are times they are like oh wow look at that, I have never seen
H: Because they have never seen it before
G: Yeah and they have never seen one that small I have never really seen one
H: Bet you got that a lot, they cut off too much off with my circumcision. But do you have to teach a woman how to be with you sometimes because they don't know how to handle a circumcised, um uncircumcised male
G: No I don't think that it is that different I mean I don't
H: They have to pull back that skin right? and they blow you
G: Definitely have to pull back, oh no I don't know that, I know don't enough about that, oh really its not pulled back I don't know, I have never handled uncircumcised cock only circumcised I have never handled a circumcised cock
H: If it was the right role would you circumcise
G: No that woud be going too far
H: You know Fred is uncircumcised, he always talks about how he had to learn to clean the thing, there's always cheese in there and shit all kinds
G: No BTW you only get that if you haven't been you know haven't been careful in the first place you gotta that's the thing hygiene, you gotta be a little bit careful about hygiene
H: Rightly so, absolutely.
G: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a good conversation
H: Let me tell you something...you could sell your cheese people will pay you I am telling you...these girls want it
G: Okay
H: Hey Robin, Gerard says Robin going to make love to you, but I haven't showered in a week
R: Oh stop
H: You would, you would, you know would
R: No
H: You know you would
R: No stop it
G: Seriously Robin?
R: (chuckles)
H: I know she was
G: We will talk afterwards
H: We will talk smack afterwards
R: Please
H: So you are growing up in Scotland and I remember the last time we talked you were a lawyer which is crazy, you went to law school
R: You went to law school
H: And then you decided to become a movie star I am thinking about this I am looking at you now and I remember the movie 300 where you really bulked up, because you are saying earlier you would get fat for a role and stuff and you are supertrim right now
G: Yeah
H: You must have put on 20, 30 lbs of muscle for 300
G: It was about 30 lbs yeah.
H: Geez
G: Yeah that was months, months, months of training and I don't know that I have that drive now, but then I was so driven because when I got that role, its funny... it was crazy how I got that role because the producers and the director said we want you to play this but they were in a weird situation because the movie had just been greenlit, Warner Brothers were very nervous about it so they didn't want to put me forward to the big cheese... Warner Bros
H: They were nervous because you weren't a big name
G: Basically yeah at that point you know and they didn't know also that's is Alan Horn, who's the President, is going to say that the guy they want, so they said we are going to do this in a weird way, we want you to personally call Alan Horn
H: Who is Alan Horn?
G: Alan Horn was the president of WB. He is a sweetheart and I knew him. I called him and it was embarassing because an actor does do that you don't call the President of the studio
H: Wow
G: He didn't know because they had told him that I was their guy So I had to call him and he said look I appreciate the call, but this is not really the way we do it, you get nominated by these guys, they come to me and my right hand man and I said I know, I know, but just let me come in. I have never done that before. My way would be normally oh oh ok sure, just let me come in... you know what just come in and have a coffee
H: Because you are not forward like that
G: Not normally forward like that and yet the roles that I got were always the ones I actually was very proactive just took a gamble
H: So just a good lesson for actors that you just have to sometimes be that pushy and aggressive guy even though its against your nature
G: Yeah you know what's interesting, I was just talking about this the other day as an actor I think what happens when you start getting offers you just look at these offers and you forget the quality is always going to get higher when you have to fight for a role so the roles aren't coming your way, so you got to keep looking up rather than on a parallel level and I think I was getting to a stage where I was just looking at a parallel level because actors get egos, you start with thing thing I only read this if this is a offer BTW you get a lot of scripts and you can't sit and rewrite all day you can only do so much, but it has always been at those times that when I had to fight for something that the actor comes out
H: You known you are right, after a couple hit movies you are like hey I don't have to audition for this, I don't have to go in and beg for this, but meanwhile you are right you can't lose that hunger because the good roles are the ones everybody is fighting over
G: Exactly
H: Who you are up against all the time is it like type, like you know
R: There is some guy yeah
H: Who's your guy?
G: Who is my guy? You know it depends on the role because sometimes they are, kind of a slightly little bit older, so they might say its you or Russell Crowe.
H: Right.
G: Other times you know it maybe Jeremey Renner or a Tom Hardy when they go younger and those guys are phenomenal and you know sometimes come your way and sometimes and I always think they go where they are suppose otherwise you just make yourself crazy and I learned that early on as this role I wanted so much and the guy that got it is an English actor called Max Beasley and it was a Scottish role, he's English and I thought you know what I can look at this 2 ways I can be angry or I could say good for him He managed to pull off getting that role in another accent so that should just inspire me to work harder and one day I will be that guy and he had more of name than me, so one day I will be glad I am the guy who has that name and will get those roles, so I try to look at it that way.
H: How hard is it for you to remove your Scottish accent when you go up for a role I mean is that difficult for you?
G: No, no I have done it, btw I feel like I barely talk Scottish anymore I listen to myself and I am going say what I am sounding like, you know I am a hybrid because I have done Americans in so many movies
H: How do you learn to speak American so to speak?
G: You go
H: Like who do you emulate? You can't go to a guy from Boston because he has sort of a Boston accent
R: Unless you are playing a Boston guy and that's a tough accent
G: Most people in movies speak in a general American accent and I don't try and focus on one person because then you are going to start getting caught up in their habits, but as much as watching tv and movies, what you do is work with a dialect coach and literally you sit and you run sounds, so you will be like for your actors in Scotland say breight leight, we go "ite" and in America go bright light so you watch and go it's a bright light on a fine night but the thing is the same rules for every accent is "I" has a certain sound in Ameria and ooh for moon in Scotland you go mune, we say gud, and in American you say good.
H: If I said to you say the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain without your accent?
G: Okay, right because you know wa la la la la
H: Its the hardest thing
G: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
R: Wow
H: Wow. Yeah, yeah that was pretty good.
G: You know normally you do warmups because you gotta for American you got to relax the lips, relax the tongue and you've got to start talking like that.
H: If somebody hired me to play a Scottish guy, to stay in that vernacular, to stay in that accent
R: That was what I was going to ask on the set do you stay American?
G: I do, but you know that was the biggest thing as an actor that I did because I was very shy to just walk around and improvise and I realized one day it doesn't work when you just going in for an audition and putting on an accent, what starts happening you start talking like this you either get the performance or the accent.
H: Right because that's so forced, you got make it part of you, you've got to walk around all day
G: So I started walking around, I started talking and I thought it does not even matter if its bad because people don't know, they don't think its a bad American accent, they think he has just lived here for certain amount of years and you get every accent imaginable and my best buddy was like dude you sound like an idiot. He's a director, you are suppose to be supporting me stop telling me it doesn't sound American it doesn't matter right now, what matters is that I am learning to laugh, to sigh, to go high,
H: To make it natural
G: To make it natural and It made all the difference to me
H: When I hear Daniel Day Lewis walking around all day as Lincoln I think he's a f*&king tool, but I get in a sense, you got stay in the voice right?
R: And he is British so he's dealing with it
G: He should say that in speech BTW I am the tool that won the Oscar that's right that's why I act like a tool
H: The guy is a great actor, amazing but geez imagine walking around all day as Lincoln and all of sudden you take out your cell phone and he goes what's that, I am the Presdent and I have never seen
H: He's probably still living as Lincoln
G: Yeah, his wife says why do you never answer my calls because I don't know what's a call
H: What's a phone?
G: Did you shout?
H: Why aren't you yelling out the window? Who knows. In your new movie you play an American?
G: I am an American yeah
H: Is it tough or is it action
G: No, It's tough.
H: You play a guy who is, everybody now, the new enemy is North Korea because don't you play a guy who is protecting the President or something
G: Yeah
H: From North Koreans.
G: Yeah, but it is
H: What are you CIA or FBI?
G: I don't know, no I am Secret Service
H: You are Secret Service. That's cool.
G: It's cool, he is exSpecial Forces and they often move into the Secret Service afterwards so he was
H: So what's the story, the North Koreans are attacking and you have to protect the President?
G: It's a, yeah that's basically what happens, we cut into the story earlier where I was Special Agent in Charge, so I was the President's right hand man
H: Who plays the President?
G: Aaron Eckhart.
H: Oh no kidding
R: That's a very young President isn't it... yeah
G: We wanted to as you often with Presidents in movies there is often a standard, very polished, a little bent, there is a cariacture they have of Presidents, and we wanted to make ours young and fresh with a bit of attitude because you know its really a movie about heroes and how in a situation like that, you know it your darkest hour, how do we rise to the challenge and we wanted a President with a bit of a bite. I mean we open with a boxing scene, I'm boxing with Aaron, I am kicking the movie is really about keeping your guard up
H You're boxing with him, so you teach him how to fight
G: Yeah we fight, most Presidents stay fit, they go running, they train, they play golf especially Bush and we
H: Bush couldn't get him off the golf course
G: that's all he did
H: Afraid Obama maybe turning into that to, we gotta get him off the golf course
G: You gotta go back to the White House, what's that?
H: In the movie do you bring in Ambassador Dennis Rodman to meet with the... wouldn't that be a cool move?
G: Yeah, yeah
H: So
G: But we btw the political backdrop, yeah there's a lot of tension between North Korea, South Korea and America
H: Right
G: The North Koreans in this are not the bad guys they are just the unpredictable guys, we don't know its a black hole there, we don't know what they are going to do because you just don't know what they are going to do anyway, you always want to set a movie... you look at the global climate and if we made a movie about Spanish terroists, nobody would go see it .... say what.. you know, they are from Jamaica
H: You know what is that guy from gangum style in your movie at all? Does he play the enemy
R: He's the leader of North Korea
H: Gangam style
G: It's like everybody is just like...what the hell is that
H: You talk to the President and he has to box the guy from gangum style I can't wait to see this.
G: That's great
H: A big dance attack
G: but they are actually terrorists, its a militia force So it's even more stuff then Osma Bid Laden where yeah he has his politics this is a personal vendetta going on because of what happened in his own life and
H: Costner played a good Secret Service guy Kevin Costner when he was protecting
R: No Way Out
H: Np he was protecting Whitney Houston
R: That's Bodyguard.
G: Do you want to hear something crazy?
H: Yeah
G: I was an extra in that movie
H: You're kidding.
R: You're kidding
G: I took a year out in America and I was wandering like a bum, I ended up joining a traveling carnival and working it.
H: This is after you became a lawyer? And your parents wanted to kill you because you wanted to be an actor
G: No this was before that, this is when they wanted to kill me because I took a year out after my honor's degree, but I still had to go back and do a diploma and legal practice and then train in a lawfirm for 2 years
H: Right
G: So this is before that, I went over there and worked an exchange program for the summer and the day I was suppose to come home, I was still technically the President of the Law Society in Glasgow. I called my Mom and said I'm not coming back.
H: You joined a circus
G: I am going to join the traveling circus
H: I would have killed you, I would have beat your ass into the ground
G: That was pretty much her
H: Why are you wasting your time on this for
G: Yeah
H: You must be the biggest screwball on the planet
G: Screwball, but I think she also knew that listen once I went back, I was facing a life as a lawyer and that sounds like you know
H: For you that would be hell
G: But not just hell, no matter what it was going to be, you were committing to a lifelong career where you have your 2 weeks holiday a year and I thought I need to go....I need to do some damage
H: Imagine you as a lawyer with your looks, so much corporate pu**y
R: Wait a minute do they wear those wigs and stuff?
G: BTW what side do I go now
H: I think God knows, II can't even keep up with you
R: Do they wear those wigs in Scottish court?
G: Yeah they do
H: You would look good in them
R: So you would have
H: I don't need a wig I have got that...I got that look
R: that poofy hair.... so what did you do in the traveling circus?
G: No it was a traveling carnival so I was working on what was a device called wackywire that goes around in a spiral and you
R: You ran a ride?
G: No it's a concession stand, so people come and they pay $2 and they try to take it down without touching the wire, its pretty much impossible to do, especially because you know there is an arm at the back that holds it and if you do it standing behind it then you can do it, but if you are in front you can't, you can't...you win a massive teddy bear COME ON WIN THE BIGGEST BEAR IN THE FAIR, $2 A SHOW
H: That was you?
G: That was me
H: You guys ripped me off, I think I lost... so while you are doing that you say hey let me go check out the movie business and you go and you are an extra on that movie
G: Yeah I wasn't even checking out the movie business, but my buddy who I had met years before in Spain who turns out his father was Alan Marshall and he was a big producer and he produced Basic Instinct, he produced Bugsby Malone you know, he did Jacob's Ladder. BTW he's now an assistant director and a 2nd year director and check this out, this is 23 years later. When I was in Spain I was on holiday with my family who were there for 2 weeks, I met him, I had to go home and like he said dude stay, I have other buddies coming out, so I stayed at his place and I had no money, so I painted his house, his mom gave me money to paint his house, so I could stay out in Spain, he just worked on this movie OHF
H: Wow how amazing full circle
G: A full circle, it's kind of amazing that all these years later
H: So when is the moving coming out, OHF
G: OHF
H: comes out when?
G: The 22nd of March
H: The 22nd of March, what's today?
G: I don't know
R: Today is like the 11th
G: Is it?
H: No, is it? Yeah yeah. Are you nervous?
G: You know what you always get nervous before a movie comes out, but the reason I am nervous about this movie is because
H: You got (talking over couldn't get it)
G: Well I always do, but recently I haven't seen even close to anything on it.
H: Sorry
G: But you know honestly these last couple of days have really been exciting. I did 80 interviews yesterday, 80.
H: Do you like that?
G: No, I don't like it, but I like it when people are coming in because what we did was really smart because the movie is fantastic, it's exciting and it is very provocative, its emotional and its packed
H: Have you already gotten reviews yet?
G: Yes people, we have been getting reviews, they give you quick reviews. Their reviews don't come out until day of but the reviewers have been loving it and we have been screening at least 300 word of mouth screens all around the country and they are screaming, they are shouting at the screen
H: Action film?
G: Its an action film but it is also
H: Any nudity?
G: No.
H: Any chest
R: Gerry
G: No that would still be nudity, but no
H: No chicks naked?
G: No chicks naked.
H: Who decided that?
G: I tried
H: You don't make love to any woman in the movie?
G: No
H: Wow that's the mood now, no one is James Bond anymore, most of these action dudes don't actually make love to women, they are almost above it, Sylvester Stallone started that I think
G: Yeah Yes that's a good point actually because it does really, it becomes a little namby pamby after that and then it goes toward the romantic thing
H: This is hard core
G: It's hard core but at the same time, its a very emotional experience, hey I have a wife in it, because after a tradegy at the beginning of movie where me in performing my duty there's a car accident I have to save the President but in doing so I literally have to pull him off of his wife and they go over the
H: Would you love to be James Bond? I can see you as a James Bond type.
G: I could listen
H: Is this your James Bond this movie?
G: Any movie that is an action thriller where you are working for the government against the bad guys could be compared to James Bond, but it does not feel anything like James Bond
H: Would you love that, would that be something you want or
G: to be honest to be Bond #17 is not
H: Because you are going to be compared to all the other ones
G: Compared to all
H: If you don't do well
G: Yeah Sean Connery who's pretty hard to top, Daniel Craig ... I really loved the last movie that's what
R: A lot of people did
G: That's when it clicked in that was a piece of class
H: I can see you doing that though
G: BTW I totally think I can do it
H: Of course you could. When you pull the President off his wife she's not naked?
G: No
H: What kind of movie is this where the President's wife isn't naked?
G: What do you call that when you pull a costume and it just comes off?
H: uhhh
R: A breakaway
G: A breakaway.
H: Yeah, yeah
G: I suggested it
H: He's banging his wife, you pull him off and she's not nude?
G: She's not nude
H: Does you character go WTF, whay are you wearing clothes while you are making love to the President?
G: He's says WTF my wife just died you dick
H: Laughing.
G: Anyway, so you cut into the movie and I am now on a desk job, I am like a caged animal, I am bouncing my ball off my screen, I trained in my life you know to be of service
H: Did you audition for this movie?
G: No I produced this movie
H: Oh you got this role, this is your role
G: And it's Antoine Fuqua who directed Training Day, so, its with Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett
H: Morgan Freeman that's good
G: Melissa Leo won the Oscar for the FIGHT, we have Ashley Judd, Dylan McDermott, Cole Hauser
H: Did you have sex with Ashley Judd, she's newly divorced right?
G: I had sex with Dylan McDermott.
H: You did?
G: It's
Did he mind you are uncircumcised?
G: Laughing
H: Glad to hear you have a small penis though with all the women you had
G: Oh yeah
R: Do you believe him?
G: Can I just say it's thin
H: It's thin? Mine's thin and small, I am not even thick.
R: Oh my God.
H: I am glad to hear that about you because you should have some difficulty in life, do women ever laugh? OMG, I am going to be with Gerard Butler and oh hahaha ohhh I guess its not a joke
G: I just do that to make them feel comfortable... do you want to my hemorrhoids?
H: We had a woman in here you made love to recently, but I heard you got mad because she went public with it, Brandi
R: You got angry
H: Real Housewifes of Beverly Hills
G: Oh yeah
H: Oh yeah you sober up
G: You know what btw here's the thing ... I never seen that show
H: I watch it all the time. There is she is on our show that's a picture of her
G: Oh what she's hot
H: She's hot
G: But here's the thing we were at a beach party, you're having fun and this girl comes along, she's so hip and so what do you do and she's like it does not matter, what you do? it doesnt matter, it does matter. So we hung out and had a little bit of fun. Suddenly one day I am actually walking down the streeth with Antoine Fuqua who directed this movie
H: Who you care about, right?
G: Who I care about and this pap... they love to f**k with you, they love to come up to you and ask the most awkward question. So he runs in my face said so Brandi Glandville says you are great in bed
H: 10/11, she gave you 10, no 11/10
G: Oh Wow. Do you know what I said? Who's Brandi Glandville?
H: Wow
G: Because one, I did not know her last night (laughs) and t...wo, I didn't know she was a celebrity and I didnt know she was going to go f**king tell peope about it.
H ...yeah
G: So here's the thing I felt bad because then I worked it out and went ohohoh okay, that's who that is and I called and said one, I am not very happy that you did that because there are certain things you got to keep a little private and two, I'm sorry I said I didn't know who you are and she was in tears, she said I doing the press for my new show and now they don't want to talk about the show they just want to say Gerard Butler claims he does not even know you and you said you had sex with him. I said I know that's embarassing but what did you expect?
H: You put it out there
G: Yeah...but she's cool.
H: Could she have kept it going with you or was that strictly a one-night stand for you? Like in other words
G: No, I wasn't. I am seeing somebody now this was me when I was training for Mavericks, I got a place in Malibu and you know you have your fun every now and again. You know she's a sweetheart btw, she's a lovely girl, but not it didn't really
H: It's a one nighter.
G: Was it one night?
R: One afternooner?
H: A one afternooer. We had her on the show we were talking, the way she raves it was 11/10
G: Yeah no it was fun
H: Wow I can imagine because she is fucking wild
G: Yes she's wild
H: I like a wild woman
R: Sure you do H, I think your'e married
H: What do you mean my wife is not wild in bed (Robin laughing) alright she's not wild in bed, she use to be before she met me, hahaha
G: She's not
H: You have not made love to any of the other Housewives of Beverly HIlls?
G: Now I don't know because ,,, maybe I did
H: The movie Mavericks that was the surf movie
G: Yeah yeah
R: Yeah
H: Do you almost drown on that movie or something I read?
G: Yeah I did
H: What happened with you? You actually had to surf for the movie?
G: I had to surf, it was my dream to actually go and surf that way, even though the movie is all about just that people have no idea how dangerous and how much training and what mettle it takes to go
H: Had you ever surfed before that?
G: I just learned, I wasn't even that good, I actually learned to surf big waves before small ones because I knew if I can be towed in, I learned to be towed in, it's hard to get upon a board while you are being towed
H: What does towed in mean? I don't know I am such a
R: the rope on the board
G: You hold the rope, your line on the board, they tow you and you gotta to stand up, you have gotta get on the board while they are going and they have to do it in perfect time so you can catch that wave as it
H: In other words, they give you an assist because this is a high difficulty
G: Yeah they are hard to paddle into, but I thought if they can just get a few seconds of me on that big wave I will be, btw that cuts back to 300 because to me when I went to see Alan Horn face to face, I said you will not regret putting me in this movie, I will kill myself for this and then I set such a high bar I want be cut like I have never seen anybody cut
H: 300 you were f**king ripped.
H: I am glad to hear that about you because you should have some difficulty in life, do women ever laugh? OMG, I am going to be with Gerard Butler and oh hahaha ohhh I guess its not a joke
G: I just do that to make them feel comfortable... do you want to my hemorrhoids?
H: We had a woman in here you made love to recently, but I heard you got mad because she went public with it, Brandi
R: You got angry
H: Real Housewifes of Beverly Hills
G: Oh yeah
H: Oh yeah you sober up
G: You know what btw here's the thing ... I never seen that show
H: I watch it all the time. There is she is on our show that's a picture of her
G: Oh what she's hot
H: She's hot
G: But here's the thing we were at a beach party, you're having fun and this girl comes along, she's so hip and so what do you do and she's like it does not matter, what you do? it doesnt matter, it does matter. So we hung out and had a little bit of fun. Suddenly one day I am actually walking down the streeth with Antoine Fuqua who directed this movie
H: Who you care about, right?
G: Who I care about and this pap... they love to f**k with you, they love to come up to you and ask the most awkward question. So he runs in my face said so Brandi Glandville says you are great in bed
H: 10/11, she gave you 10, no 11/10
G: Oh Wow. Do you know what I said? Who's Brandi Glandville?
H: Wow
G: Because one, I did not know her last night (laughs) and t...wo, I didn't know she was a celebrity and I didnt know she was going to go f**king tell peope about it.
H ...yeah
G: So here's the thing I felt bad because then I worked it out and went ohohoh okay, that's who that is and I called and said one, I am not very happy that you did that because there are certain things you got to keep a little private and two, I'm sorry I said I didn't know who you are and she was in tears, she said I doing the press for my new show and now they don't want to talk about the show they just want to say Gerard Butler claims he does not even know you and you said you had sex with him. I said I know that's embarassing but what did you expect?
H: You put it out there
G: Yeah...but she's cool.
H: Could she have kept it going with you or was that strictly a one-night stand for you? Like in other words
G: No, I wasn't. I am seeing somebody now this was me when I was training for Mavericks, I got a place in Malibu and you know you have your fun every now and again. You know she's a sweetheart btw, she's a lovely girl, but not it didn't really
H: It's a one nighter.
G: Was it one night?
R: One afternooner?
H: A one afternooer. We had her on the show we were talking, the way she raves it was 11/10
G: Yeah no it was fun
H: Wow I can imagine because she is fucking wild
G: Yes she's wild
H: I like a wild woman
R: Sure you do H, I think your'e married
H: What do you mean my wife is not wild in bed (Robin laughing) alright she's not wild in bed, she use to be before she met me, hahaha
G: She's not
H: You have not made love to any of the other Housewives of Beverly HIlls?
G: Now I don't know because ,,, maybe I did
H: The movie Mavericks that was the surf movie
G: Yeah yeah
R: Yeah
H: Do you almost drown on that movie or something I read?
G: Yeah I did
H: What happened with you? You actually had to surf for the movie?
G: I had to surf, it was my dream to actually go and surf that way, even though the movie is all about just that people have no idea how dangerous and how much training and what mettle it takes to go
H: Had you ever surfed before that?
G: I just learned, I wasn't even that good, I actually learned to surf big waves before small ones because I knew if I can be towed in, I learned to be towed in, it's hard to get upon a board while you are being towed
H: What does towed in mean? I don't know I am such a
R: the rope on the board
G: You hold the rope, your line on the board, they tow you and you gotta to stand up, you have gotta get on the board while they are going and they have to do it in perfect time so you can catch that wave as it
H: In other words, they give you an assist because this is a high difficulty
G: Yeah they are hard to paddle into, but I thought if they can just get a few seconds of me on that big wave I will be, btw that cuts back to 300 because to me when I went to see Alan Horn face to face, I said you will not regret putting me in this movie, I will kill myself for this and then I set such a high bar I want be cut like I have never seen anybody cut
H: 300 you were f**king ripped.
G: You dont know, there was a movie not that long ago when I think about 12 stunt guys died in a helicopter...that hit
H: talking about you be careful
G: You got be careful and I
H: Never mind that, tell me about your small penis again...so you mentioned, first of all, the last time I saw you, right after you saw us you went into rehab. I didn't know that.
G: Just after
H: Just after, you concealed it
R: You looked fine
G: I was fine until I came in here
H: You went on drugs after you ... What happened? I thought when I talked to you, you were sober.
G: I was, I mean I don't drink, I don't drink and I don't really mess around with drugs like that. It was talking about movies and injuries, it was I have been in a car crash in a movie where I hurt my back, then I was doing a fight sequence in Coriolanus with Ray Fiennes when the same issue it went out really, really badly
H: Back pain?
G: For four months I felt like someone was sticking a spear in my back. I made a whole movie feeling that everyday and there was nothing I could do, every night I had to
H: So they put you pain meds
G: So I started on pain meds.
H: Oxy?
G: No no no no.
H: What were you doing?
R: Aspirin.
G: Heroin
H: Heroin who the hell gets rid of back pain
R: He was doing aspirin, he got hooked on aspirin.
G: I had morphine drip right into my arm and a colostomy bag
H: What the hell were you doing?
G: No I just
H: Weed?
G: No, no It was just Vicodin and to be honest I wasn't even
H: Vicodin? That does not get me high tho
G: No, I wasn't getting high
R: You don't take 500
H: One night I was with some people and I took couple of Vicodin and drank which you are not suppose to do And I still didn't get that good a buzz.
G: BTW, I don't drink but there was an amazing documentary on CNN about the amount of people who die by mixing alcohol with pain meds and other meds.
R: Right.
H: Yes its dangerous
G: Thousands every year, they go to sleep and their heart stops.
R: But how were you taking the Vicodin?
G: Um I was cutting it up and smoking it, no I am joking
R: Laughing and laughing
H: How much were you doing
G: BTW by the time I went into rehab I really wasn't doing that many, I went into it was like a pain program. The doctor there was amazing they use shi-gong, he barely touches you and they go by energy lines and they also teach you this philosophy where you know where you know that stress is related to pain, so you have genuine injuries, but the more stressed you are, the more pain you feel, the more down you get caused by the pain then the more pain
H: So you weren't really a drug guy, you were really had a problem with pain medicine
G: Yeah it was amazing
H: How long were you in there?
G: Like 20 days, 23 days.
H: Were you with hard core drug people there?
G: I was surrounded by some crazy people
H: Were you going like hey man I was only doing some Vicodin for back problem.
G: No I mean btw honestly the program that goes on in there, you have gotta stop and look at your life, you sit with other people who talk about their life, and it is amazing, it is such a bonding experience. I wish the name wasn't rehab because it's actually kind of a spiritual thing, you are with people from all different walks of life,
H: Sometimes you get caught up in your life so much you don't reflect
G: You do and I try not to but 100% do.
H: Is the food good?
G: It's like summer camp
R: Do they have special facilities like a spa?
G: In between you are not allowed to talk to women, it's so funny because all the women want to talk to me, they are come in crowds and surround me, the staff tell me off and I can't believe I being told off... do you know who I am?
H: You are breaking all the rules
G: Yeah I have a small penis but its
H: So women slipping your notes under your door and stuff when you are in the rehab
G: I actually did get a note slipped under my door
H: Laughing hard and loud...what a life, it is actually unbelievable you are in rehab trying to reflect, trying to keep your shit together and now all of sudden you get the notes pushed under the door. Were you tempted? ....What did the note say?
G: It was something like you're f**king hot. I wish we could do something you know
H: Did you share a room?
G: You share a room with someboy and I shared a room with this guy OMG he was hilarious
H: He probably took the note and said hey this chick thinks I'm hot and I'm going to bang her...that would be great
G: Maybe the note wasn't for me
H: On that rehab with GB and I get a note under my door and I realize this chick wants to f**k me and I go over there and then she sues me because she thought I was GB in the dark.
G: Or GB comes over and tries to fuck me and I sue him because I wrote the note to the other guy.
H: Right, so who's the guy you are sharing the room just like a regular dude
G: You know what this guy was older and he had been married for something like 40 years and then I think he just got a little bored and started drinking and it was then OMG I fell in love with this guy, he was such a good man... When I first met him, he was really annoying... this is what we do, this is what do, classes are set, now remember it takes 5...and I wanted to go dude f**k off, but by the end I loved this guy. He snored so loud even the ear plugs, the room was vibrating
H: I couldn't take that I would have to take Vicodin just for that reason... I'd kill the guy. So do you stay in touch with this dude or
G: I do, I stay in touch with a few people from rehab. You know what? I have got to tell you that's why everybody should do something like that, to take stock of your life
H: That's why I do therapy, do you do therapy? You do psychotherapy?
G: I have done, but I don't right now.
H: Did you masturbate in rehab? Can you spend some time
R: Is everything off?
H: Can they
R: You had a roommate
H: Can you masturbate?
G: I did but then they said
H: Where did you go?
G: You gotta do that in your room
H: I'd do it in group
G: Not in group Gerry, not in group
H: Don't just abstain from touching yourself
G: No they don't say that, I don't recall if I did or not.
H: Clean toilets with your toothbrush and all that kind of stuff?
G: No
H: None of that
G None of that
H: So you recommend, were there other famous people there or were you only famous dude?
G: No there was a couple other famous people. I'll tell you....I am joking
H: Gives us a list of the names, tive us a few names to make it really good.
G: Umm
H: Is that fun as a celebrity to see other celebrities there you are all kind of bonding I imagine that's great
G: Yeah its cool because you know what especially for me to be honest I could have gone in there saying I don't have a big issue, but I didn't, I am here I am gong to use this experience because you learn so much, you come out, you understand yourself so much more, you are inspired by
H: So why not continue
R: Why did you go?
G: BTW that's why I kinda wish you know, have you ever heard of that book Power Against Force where the guy talks about the energy you have if you are around a room when people are meditating, literally it give a vibration. They said Jesus operated on this vibe 650 or something, Mother Theresa, the Buddha and that the emotion of jealously, fear and anger is like 100 but you know
H: Wasn't thre some story about, didn't you go to Israel and you came back and thought you were Jesus? And you can make fire come out of your hands.
R: What?
H: Wasn't there some story like that.
G: Yeah but it was fire coming out of my ass, you could fart and light it
H: You know what i am talking about, didn't you go, you had some spiritual experience and you went to that what was it called
G: No I was in India and I am very into it, I haven't done it so much recently, but I was big into meditation and I went to India
H: Transcendental meditation?
G: No, I have never done transcendental, but I met this monk in LA and he told me this amazing story, I was there, this is what is wrong with my life and he said it was this school. This school was amazing they closed the school because this kid one day that had this spiritual experience and he passed it on to one of the other kids and thenall these kids start having these out of body experiences, they were literally calling their parents saying you weren't here today, but you were wearing this, this is what happened and all this crazy stuff started happening, they closed the school and they started this temple that is called the Oneness University and its all
H: Oneness
G: Oneness University and so you go there, it is one on one and they teach you about philosophy and their philosophy is absolutely accepting where you are in every moment that is your ugliness, you say I am jealous, I'm angry, its not about
H: Being in touch with your
G: Being on touch with your emotions and rather then I AM ANGRY but I shouldn't be that what's restraining because I'M F**KING ANGRY, I'm funcing angry
H: Let it out
G: There you go
H: Right
G: If I'm jealous, I am jealous and its about absolute acceptance, but what they did every day they gave you these blessings, they sit with their hand on your head. At first I am like this is dumb... I felt like an idiot but about 3 days later I started feeling this tingling in my head
H: Everyday they hold your head and you start
G: Two or three times with an intention so that whatever you have been talking about with that intention of learning that lesson, they start with this energy through passing that on, you can eventually pass it on, but you gotta go this ritual. I know this sounds crazy, trust me I thought so too.
R: Howard you are going back to rehab after this?
H: Yeah, yeah don't judge me, so your head starts tingling
G: You've got this tingling in exactly a certain part of your head, just over here
H: Wow
G: They explained it, they were working with some top neurosurgeon to explain the gland that it is affecting then what happened was you go thru this ritual and then you learn to start giving them. So I came back, yeah I literally thought I was giving a blessing and everybody I gave it to, I gave it to my girlfriend at the time
H: Of course you did
G: It was so, she literally went straight to the toilet and threw up it was
R: Wow
H: Wow... then she thought... In others you come back from this experience and now you were a healer and you started laying hands on people
G: Yeah
R: And they threw up
H: What was the thing you started you could shoot lightening out of your hands?
G: No you put on the had and you pass an energy
H: Touch me head, I want to see if I throw up
G: ah
R: Give Howard a treatment
H: Give me a treatment, so are you still treating girls?
G: No I don't, I was
H: You were treating guys
G: No
R: I think that you need to have more education before you start treating people
H: It happens in Hollywood, somebody goes for a 2 week course and right away you are teaching... Right?
G: Btw I know I am setting myself up for a big laugh here. BTW I did it a lot and it was amazing, this one girl said I have never done, she was off suddenly doing charity work, on Easter she was going to one of these kitchens, she says she feels so energized.
H: Wow.
G: I had a blessing years ago by a guy, I sat in a room and I waited for him to start, he was a Brazilian guy and I heard this guy is amazing and he sat in a room and I sat here and half an hour later we are done and what I'm like that's it? I thought it was bullshit, within 2 days I hadn't felt that happy or that energized or life suddenly I had no issues I shouldn't I just
H: What does he do? He just stand there?
G: You just stood there, but it was kind of this focusing on you
H: Maybe it was that guy
R: Maybe it was that guy that I went to see, what was his name?
H: He's a guy, you go in a room and he stands and what's that guy Robin?
R: Stares at you. He stares at you.
H: He stares at you
G: Yeah.
H: That's the gig I want.
G: He was a Brazilian guy in London... alot of people I got to tell you even my buddy who is a director he went to see this um this spiritualist and this spiritualist said you have an incredible power in you and you don't even know it and he started healing, in fact he healed me once in my back and he got sick for 3 days, I mean he really got sick, coughing and he
H: Does your back still hurt.
G shoulder, sometimes it does
H: I am going to talk to you after we are after the air and we are going to get rid of that
R: He has a healer for you
H: I got the real deal I'm going to talk to you, you need help.
G: Yeah so it's not as bad as it was I don't know very many people get some kind of back pain from time to time but when he did that work on it, I couldn't believe the differnce and he helped, he gave my buddy who hadn't trained for 2 years, he put his hand on his shoulder and he got sick after that as well. my buddy when the the gym the next day and was lifting weights, in fact he's in the back room. Freddy boy
H: You are going to look learn from me, Dr. John Sarno (Mind-Body Connection) and you are going to be fine
G: Oh I know that book
H: That's good it is going to be okay. Hey your dating some new hot chick I saw in the paper
G: Yeah.
H: Look at you a model
G: Actress actually, she just did a movie with Jude Law, she just did a couple of movies
H: You in love?
G: um I'm in deep like (snickers)
H: You are in love
G: Nah, she's amazing, she's amazing
H: Ah, is this going to last?
R: Look at him he started to blush
H: What's going on here? Did you do that healing move on her yet? Did you make her throw up?
G: yeah
H: Wow look at her.
G: Where?
H: Right there, look over there. OMG
G: Oh yeah
H: How do you not come fast with that?
G: That's what she said.
H: Hey How old is she?
G: She's 14.
H: I want you to do the healing move on her. Where did you meet this one?
G: She's 25.
H: 25 Good Lord look at her
G: She's actually
H: She's perfect
G: She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen
H: Physically perfect.
G: Yeah. I met her in NY, right after this art gallery opening and my friend was talking to her so I was saying hello and I was thinking okay I don't want to stand here and wait, but get out of the way. He says hey sit down, great girl, you gotta meet her, so we start talking and she starts texting Paul Haggis. We are all involved in the same charity Artists for Peace and Justice and so I said OMG you know Paul and so then we get talking and we hang out until 7 in the morning and I said let's go walk the Brooklyn Bridge, but first let's go and get jackets at my place
H: Yeah
G: And I have a hat collection of like 200 hats, crazy Russian, you name it and I have those hats. We didn't even kiss, we are jumping about the apartment, trying on hats, there was something so magical about it and I went this girl is amazing and I said she was leaving the next day and I said I coming to see you in Milan. Three days later I was at her door in Milan and she freaked the f**k out, she
H: Yeah
G: She is on the phone with her assistant
H: Let me get this straight you met her where?
R: At a gallery
G: No it wasn't the gallery, it was the afterparty after the show
H: This was in NY?
G: It was at my friend's place called The Darby, which is a great place.
H: Right. You meet her, how come your friend wasn't banging her? How come the guy she was texting?
G: He has a girlfriend
H: Right
G: So he was just friends with her, but she doesn't live here so
H: What is she, modeling in Milan or acting in Milan? So she goes off to Milan and you just go I gotta be near her
G: What yeah
H: Crazy night, no sex, it was just trying on hats and walk on the Brooklyn Bridge until 7 in the morning
G: Yeah, we never made the Brooklyn Bridge ...it was 7 it was like who are we kidding
H: No making out, nothing
G: Not even a kiss
H: Why that's your move
G: I know, but you know I thought it was very rare I don't want to
H: Screw with that
G: Right I didn't
H: You hung with her. Does she speaking English?
G: Yeah.
H: She's good at it?
G: She speaks 5 languages.
H: Wow.
G: Yeah
H: Does she speak 5 languags and you are trying on hats and you are doing that whole mode, playing it like hey I am not even going to have sex with, I just wantto you see if we have a friendship, that's the best way to play it, then she leaves.
G: Yeah
H: She's in Milan and so you are leaving on a plane that's very pretty woman stuff, you get on a plane and you fly to Milan.
G: Yeah.
H: And when she sees you that you made this effort that's when you bang her right?
G: Hahahahahaha
H: Right
G: Yeah, no we spent 3 days in Milan and we were both pretty paranoid about because we were just hanging out, there's paparazzi, and there's alot of paparazzi about in Milan
H: Is that for sure. OMG are her boobs real?
G: Yea.
H: Wow are you sure?
G: I have never touched them but
H: Yes you have...she takes a B cup
G: BTW me too after all that coke a cola
H: Ahhh
G: So it was right before the Cannes Film Festival so we went to Cannes and we managed to get away relatively unnoticed and then I played a charity game for The Rest of the World against England in Manchester United. She came to that. Then we spent 8 days traveling Scotland, staying in bed and breakfasts, castles, and all over and it was
R: You can get away with doing that?
G: Yeah btw
H: I rather try hats with her then do that, you know what I mean Wait a second let me understand something knowing your reputation has she laid down the law to you and say I'll go out with you, but if find that you are fucking around it's over, has she ever said that to you?
G: Ah
H: Because you'll screw this up
G: Yeah
H: She did say it
G: I don't think she had to
H: She knows you are into her
G: Yeah she knows
H: Do you think you going to marry her?
G: Nah I doubt that you know I
R: Take it easy Howard, take it easy
G: This is me you are talking to
H: Is that going to be your life story, do you think you will ever find that great love, are you ever going to be monogamous and really settle down? There's no way.
G: No I can, I can, I can, I can, I cannot even say that, its hard for those words to come out of my mouth. No. Yeah I can
H: You don't want to have kids huh?
G: I do want to have kids.
H: Yeah.
G: I totally want to, I would love to have
R: What's a good age to have kids? Like 60.
H: Yeah Steve Martin is like 67 and he just had a kid.
G: Is that right?
H: Yeah you can wait
G: That's a little young... yeah you know some people say they want to have kids younger so they can play basketball and all that you know all that, one, I can't play basketball, but two, what a great excuse that you can't, you save the time, but you only have your Zimmer frame or a wheelchair you can't, I love it now I can get some work done
H: But you see, you will never be able to settle down because look at her and then you know around the corner there is going to be somebody even hotter I mean, I don't know how the hell are you're ever going to settle down, it's insane
G: You know
H: You tell me
R: Its like George Clooney a model for you, it that what it is? Say George never
H: George never settles, do you know George?
G: Yeah I know George
H: Yeah.
G: George is a great guy. He certainly seems to be pretty happy with how he lives his life.
H: Every year, he changes models.
G: BTW you know it is what it is, I would love to settle down, I would love to have kids, I really would but if that happens its great, but if doesn't it doesn't then I will just go with, again it about acceptance
H: Right so what are you thinking I mean what is going to go on with this girl? Is she going to move in with you or what?
G: Ah I don't know.
H: She travels.
G: When I met her here she was checking out acting schools and she was talking about going to Lee Strasberg and she still wants to do that or it's whether she's going to come over to NY or to LA.
H: You know what in a way you have so much free time like you are here doing promotions, she's somewhere probably not goig to see her for a few weeks, you could feasibly get into a seductive situation with somebody else and bring her back and try on hats with her, you know what I mean, it's like it's gotta be constant temptation to you, you go to rehab and chicks are slipping you notes under the door
G: You know what btw that's so fun but when you have had that for a few years, honestly it loses its appeal, being such a bad boy in my life and there are times when you say this is fun, same old same old, it loses its appeal, I am not saying I am purrfect (that's what is sounds like) definitely not saying that, but
H: Robin says your purrfect...dude its unbelievable what's going on. Listen new movie, let's talk about that for a second, GB is in OHF, now understand what this is, this is an action film. I can't stand these Les Miserables I won't even go watch that
R: But he did a musical
H: Did you?
G: Phantom of the Opera I did
R: Yeah
H: I have seen that
G: Yeah
H: That's alright.
G: Yeah that's alright.
H: You get laid in that one
G: Uh
R: Not really
G: Yeah she was asleep
H: So am I...GB in OHF opening March 22 in theaters everywhere you can follow G on twitter @GerardButler. I think I am going to have to follow you to just keep up with what's going on. You wouldn't believe this, I just tried on hats with this really hot chick, picture with his tweets. Did you just party with Mel Gibson in Miami I read, you and a bunch of guys.
G: Yeah there was
H: You LDC,
G: Bradley Cooper
H: Brad Cooper
G: Who else was down there?
H: The chicks must have been like flocking to this table
G: Yeah it was
H: Was it weird hanging with Mel? with his bullshit
G: No Mel's cool
H: He was?
G: Ah I have got to tell you
H: Realy
R: That's all hype
H: Are you saying he's a good dude, I could hang with him?
G: I swear to God he's a really funny, supersharp and I was surprised just...I am a nice guy but I make mistakes, I say stupid things you know, but the time that I spent with him I was really impressed he's a good solid individual
H: You mean a crazy antisemetic. You are uncircumcised he probably liked you right off the bat.
R: There's no Hebe here. Right?
H: There's no Hebe here.
G: No he's an amazing guy to listen to, he has an incredible mind but yeah I am not saying...What's that?
H: So you dug him
G: I dug him
H: Jonah Hill was a part of that too
G: Jonah Hill was down there yeah
H: Did he get a lot of girls too.
G: No, don't ask me
H: Who's the king bee, is it LDC the ringleader?
G: What is he, not a ringleader, but you know wherever LDC goes generally 600 women around him
R: Yeah he's the man
G: But you know what he's another guy, he is a very impressive individual, now he knows what is going on, he's so smart, he's so clued in on life and he's a phenomenal actor.
H: Do you get jealous of him, his career and the sense hanging out do you all sort of like try to figure out where you are on the totem pole of show business?
G: Like I said I have always tried to let such a negative worthless energy in, but I am not saying that every once in a while I feel I wish I had done that but I feel that if you are going to think that about other people it is only going to come back and bite you in the ass. If someone is talented I want them to have every bit of success. If Jeremey Renners and the Tom Hardys are awesome.
H: But do you get into a mental competitiveness with them, sort of like this sounds weird if I am sitting at table with and the chick went over to him and not me, do you start to kind've when women come over to me, oh wow Leo got 5 and I only got 2 or something then you start judging your own worth
G: No, no because you know what I am happy that 5 women are going over to him and only 2 are coming over to me
H: Really?
G: Yeah.
H: Can you be happy, isn't sort of like judging your mojo
G: I gotta tell you when you have a bunch of women come over to you, it sounds like a dream come true, but in actual fact it can be huge pain in the ass because sometimes you just trying to have a converation and every time you turn around look they are waiting for a chance to jump in, often the things they do are kind of... I'm amazed at women you know listen when guys give a hardtime, but we admit we are pigs, but women don't admit that and what they will do sometimes to shit on each to get in there you know
H: When you go out on the town with these guys who pays the check? Is it Leo? Cause he's sort of like the ringleader...it don't want to say ringleader, he sort of the, who paid the check that night?
G: No that was ... none of this did that night
H: Did they comp you all?
R: They kind of paid you to be there
G: No, we were all down there kind of for something and it was all sponsered.
H: Open bar?
G: Open bar. Free coke a colas for me all night.
H: You are seeing that girl so you can't fuck around
G: Yeah yeah...that was tough (snickers)
H: You should've got Mel to pay for everything cause Mel has gotta pay...Hey Mel do you want to hang out with us?
R: There was nothing to pay
H: If there had been, even the dinner, hey Mel do you know what?
R: Let Mel pay
H: Your career is in the shitter right now you pick up the fucking tab a**h**e, ....he wants everyone to like him, you don't need that aggravation Listen to me what a life, what a life
G: For who?
H: You
G: For me
H: Me? What am I doing?
G: Is there any water in here
H: I will give you some water
G: Yeah
R: I was sitting here thinking Howard his life is like the Bachelor
G: Thank you (quietly)
H: Yep your are the Bachelor. Do you watch that show the Bachelor?
G: No
H: It's unbelievable, it's like 40 chicks all trying to win over this 1 guy
R: Hehehehe
G: I should go on that, it sounds fun...
H: I could talk to you all day, you've got some life. We just talked for an hour and half straight.
G: No we didn't
H: It's 9:24 and we started at 8
G: OMG. It feels like I have been here just for 5 minutes
H: Let's go back, let's go back to your place and try on hats...come on man, just 2 dudes
R: He does not want to try hats on with you
H: I see... yeah, you know
G: You think hats on your head?
H: I am kidding, it's funny you know in a relationship when its going great and you first meet a girl and you are up to 7 in the morning trying on hats and all kinds of stuff, then comes that time when everything goes wrong and how the fuck did I stay up with her until 7 in the morning trying on hats? Let's hope that doesn't happen.
G: Yeah I hope so too. We have had our moments, we have had our moments
H: You have already? You are kidding? Oh well
G: She's firey. She's incredibly smart, she's very sharp, she's very proud.
H: But you know a girl that looks like that they are going coming to you and say listen I'm not going to waste my time with you, we have gone our for a year and now I want to get married, see if I sit her and wait hangon I get used up, that's going to be the tricky part
G: It's 10 months and she has not been saying that
H: She's 25 that's true, she may not want to get married.
G: Yeah, yeah
H: You know what you're doing, shit, you really know your shit, you got it down cold
R: He studies, he studies
H: You must have got the Clooney coach, you've got vocal coach and then a Clooney coach. Listen we can talk all day. The movie I am going to see this movie
R: I am looking forward to seeing this movie
G: BTW honestly it's fantastic, we are getting like 100% positive reviews from people and it such a butt
H: How much do you get on the backend?
G: I'm not telling you
H: Give me your deal. You got money up front right? What's your quote?
G: I am not telling you.
H: What do you mean you're not telling me
G: You're like the only man, I can't believe how much I do tell you, I was literally about to tell you and wait a minute this is on radio
H: I mean, the quote is everything right?
G: Probably not as much as you think
H: 2 million a film.
G: No it's more than that
R: Yeah, how dare you insult him?
H: I don't know, what the hell 5?
G: I am not saying.
H: I would keep for GB minimum 5 million a film right?
G: Maybe who knows
H: Money is money
G: It's after commission and taxes
H: How many homes do you own?
G: Actually 4 but 2 are small and then my parents' land in Scotland they have the house and I have the land so I can still kick them off
H: You own your parent's land
G: It's my Mum 70th birthday btw
H: Happy Birthday Mom
G: She's in Florida
H: Look at her. Boca beach club?
G: No. She goes to this with my stepfather every year. Check this out, my Mum, they wanted to go for 2 months a year, they have been doing this for 5, 6 years now. They go to this place its called the Villages and it's like only over 55 there. Every club
H: Century Village
G: Is that what it is?
H: Yeah it's like Century Village and you go over there and hang out with old people
G: You hang out, they have line dancing, aqua aerobics, golfing and they have a blast.
R: Why are old people all wanna do that?
G: Because old people want to do something.
H: I am old enough to be in one of those homes, that's all shit I don't want to know
R: Why?
H: I want to lay in bed til 3, why do I have to go do that golf?
R: You can't play shuffleboard
H: I am going to sit and eat, that's what I am going to do and sleep.
G: Btw do you know what they did, they went kayaking. I got a note saying me and you Aunt Kathy are going on a 5 mile kayaking, I didn't answer but I thought that's insane 5 miles. The next day, I got the longest e-mail, they almost drowned, they capsized and my Aunt Kathy had a panic attack so my Mom screaming as the kayak is going down stream, she is holding on by rope, Kathy do something. Kathy I can't think, I can't think for 5 minutes she said just blanked
H: Kill your parents and your aunt
G: This was some river they were going down, seriously
H: They are crazy
G: They are crazy
H: You don't do that at that age. What
Co-worker: I saw this piece on this place on CBS Morning News. Everybody had a golf cart right? They all trick out their golf carts so they can look like antique cars or like trolly cars or something.
H: Is that Century Villages or just the Villa.
Co-worker: The Villages.
G: BTW now they don't rent to places out for 2 months, they say a 3 month minimum, so my Mum who hates being there that long, but she's like if I am paying for 3 months.
H: I am staying
G: I say but Mum I'll get it, it does not matter, It's the prinicipal, if we are paying for 3 months we are staying for 3 months so they stay for 3 months everytime
H: Now she's torture herself
G: Now she's torturing herself.
H: Beautiful. Now listen you said it all. We heard about the hot girlfriend, we heard about rehab, we heard about Brandi who gave you a 11/10 as a lover.
G: Right.
H: I hate you for that
R: Even with a small thin penis?
G: A small thin penis
H You must do a lot of going down on women...an 11/10, you must have done something right.
G: My tongue that's long, but it's thick
H: It's I had 11 once, but it was from 1 woman but it was out of a 100...I am not kidding, that's the only 11 I ever got
R: That's his highest score
H: That my highest score. Listen GB is a good guy, a great guy lotta of fun hanging out with Mel Gibson, LDC, Jonah HILL look's what going on, you go there, the drinks are free, the women are pain in the ass there are so many
R: The women are free
H: He can heal you this is what I learned
R: Ah I see he has energy to deliver
H: He touches you with his hands and puts them on your head, you are going to tingle in your head
G: Btw I don't think I ever said this on the air before, but coming back from India after getting all that energy put into you, I know it sounds crazy, I started getting, feeling very strange. This was the next day, I went straight to a press junket in Hawaii and I start getting all wiff, I get faint when standing up and the doctor comes puts his finger on my pulse and says feel this and my heart had gone into like what you call it like a skipped heart
R: An arrhythmia?
G: It went up to 170
H: So much energy
G: Because all that energy they had put in, I have never had that in my life and I have never had it since, but it was literally all that energy going in. They had to give me this Rhytmol, I said is that
H: What did you tell them?
G: I said to the nurse that's not my heart rate, she said yes it is, vavava, they give me injections, I was starting to feel faint even sitting down, but so for those that would say that's bullshit
H: It was a medically so your pulse
G: Never had it in my whole life so it was that's not actually selling the place
H: Right
R: No, no
H: I am never going to India, I am never going to India anyway
R: You don't care what they got over there
H: They bathe and shit in the water they ,die in the water and you drink it. Did you drink that water?
G: Okay btw I took a bike ride up into the Himalayas up by the Ganges and when we go up the water got so fresh and beautiful. Lookig at Tigers on the other side of the river running wild and one guy came up with a bottle of water and he's like said here. i said I can't and he said nonono it's fine so (that's suppose to be an Indian accent) so I drink it and that night I go hiking and we climbed up to the top of this mountain and we set camp and I got so ill, I spent all night crapping myself and vomiting
H: Of course
G: Then I had to go down by a donkey the next day, throwing up off the side of the donkey and then put me in a car. I am not even going to tell you what happend in the car. They drive me for day and half
R: Oh god
G: to get me back home. I was sick for a month
R: Wow
H: Dude you never drink that f**king Indian water
G: But it was up high, but what happened the higher you went and then suddenly you come across this villages and they are shitting in the water
H: Yeah
G: Oh no, I know
H: You just drank shit water
G: I know but I was up in the Himalayas, up
R: You don't let the water fal into your eyes over there
H: That's right
G: BTW we swam at Varanasi and that's where they burn the bodies, that's where the river is slow moving, filthy
H: Why would you do that
G: It was the most incredible experience you walk into Varanasi, you feel like you took an Ectasy
H: Really?
G: It was the best day I ever spent in my life
H: I mean my God, what you are up to, you gotta slow down in life
R: You're laughing at me, laugh at him, get him under control
G: That was me slowing down
H: All that nutty shit too. I'll stay home. Alright, alright look we could talk for another 2 hours just to hear what happened in the car in India
R: Really
H: Shit in your pants
R: I can imagine
H: What happened, you passed out and 3 women jumped in and made love to you, some horrible thing like that, I can't even imagine.
G: Yeah
H: Man I've got to hang with you and Leo and all those others
G: We gotta hang out sometime I love you, you're awesome
H: I am going to come over and trying on hats at the very least. See his hat collection. What's he is going
Co-worker: Gerard has to go go
H: Of course he has to go he's been here for 2 days
Co-worker: He's beenhere for over 90 minutes
H: Gerard Butler. Let's just mention the movie that's what the man is here for. OHF this is where these f**king North Koreans come over, they attack our President and who saves the President, Gerard Butler. This opens March 22 in theaters everywhere and you can follow Gerard on Twitter @GerardButler ladies.
R: You really want more followers you are advertising now
H: He doesn't need any followers
G: I will say tho I am super proud of this movie, it's terrifying
R: I can't wait to see it
H: All right you sold me
G: Yeah
H: You closed the deal
G: You're really witnessing an attack, it's so real and plausible when you watch this, that it's mind blowing, every person who has watched it, I didn't breath out until the end of the movie.
H: Bro we are all there. I'm watching it.
G: I love you to see it, to see it before it comes out dude
H: I am going to see it, I am going to see it
G: I loved your support on MGP
H: Yeah, yeah you're the man
R: Loved that movie
H: Alright go and have your perfect life, I will sit here do the dumb show
R: Yeah go back to Leo
H: Go back to your fun
G Btw coming on here and then I know I am going to K&M, whichI think I am late for it and then Piers Morgan, so this is
H: Have fun, now listen try not to be too handsome. Alright listen thank you and touch my head before you leave alright.
G: Alright
H: See if you can do something to my face alright. This is GB
R: Doing a blessing, do a blessing
H: GB does a blessing, touches my head...his face gets on me and he starts looking like me ... oh poor bastard... no more movies, no more 5 million dollar quote... GB thank you
G: Thank you
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